Write an Email
·You signed up for a gym membership three months ago. Due to a change in your work schedule, you can no longer use the gym facilities during their operating hours. You want to cancel your membership.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
TOEFL Writing Templates
Effective templates and phrases for TOEFL writing
Common Grammar Mistakes
Top grammar errors that hurt your TOEFL score
Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email effectively communicates the cancellation request and follows appropriate social conventions.
Vague phrasingModerate
“this situation”
Fix·Instead of 'this situation,' specify 'the need to cancel my membership.'
Inaccurate verb choiceModerate
“membership that I bought”
Fix·Replace 'bought' with 'signed up for' to accurately describe the action of acquiring a membership.
“I am going to need to cancel it due to a new schedule in my job.”
This clearly addresses the requirement to explain the need for cancellation, providing a valid reason related to work schedule changes.
“I am really sorry for this situation, but I needed to take this opportunity to improve my career.”
The apology and explanation demonstrate politeness and professionalism, which are important for maintaining a respectful tone in formal communication.
“It would be appreciated if you could confirm this request in writing.”
This request ensures that there is a clear call to action, which is essential for clarity and follow-up in professional emails.
Vocabulary & Flow
Continue to use a variety of linking words to enhance coherence and flow.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundThe verb 'bought' is not the most accurate choice for describing the acquisition of a membership, which is typically 'signed up for.'
Email Structure
Your email is missing a proper greeting. Start with "Dear [Name]," or "Hello," to establish a professional tone.
The opening paragraph clearly states the purpose of the email and provides necessary context.
All requirements are addressed, but some phrasing could be more precise.
The closing paragraph includes a call to action and expresses gratitude, which is effective for professional communication.
The sign-off is present and appropriately formal.
“Best Regards”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Use precise language to avoid vagueness.
Now: this situation
Try: the need to cancel my membership
Improves clarity and precision, which are crucial for higher scores.Replace 'bought' with 'signed up for' to accurately describe the action.
Where: opening
Try: membership that I signed up for
Use varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
Try: Consider using 'subscription' or 'enrollment' instead of repeating 'membership.'